This month I was going to write about losing my Mother; how it happened, how it affected me and how I continue to fight through the pain every second of every day. Instead, I want to get a few things off my chest, in hopes I'm not the only one feeling this way about the response to the LDS church and their new policy.
It is an understatement to say that I'm hurt by the words of people who are not happy with this new policy, some of them who I still consider good friends. Let me explain that I am NOT hurt by people disagreeing with the policy. I am NOT hurt by people thinking it's wrong or something they do not believe in. Each individual person is able to believe what they want and think what they want. I don't think less of anyone for believing differently than I do. Oh but heaven forbid I ask for the same in return. I only ask that those of you who feel the need to post about your disagreement or outrage all over social media to choose your words carefully. I have read a lot on social media about how people believe Mormon's discriminate against LGBTQ, people who get abortions, pretty much anyone that isn't LDS. Let me defend my Mormon self by saying I do not discriminate. I love everyone just like I have been taught every week at church, every year I went to EFY, every conference I have been alive to witness, every young women activity I attended, and every relief society and church function I continue to attend now. I have never been taught to hate anyone. I have only been taught to love unconditionally.
I've seen many things on social media stating Mormons are spreading "hate". Like I already mentioned before, choose your words carefully. Generally stating "Mormons" is grouping me and many people you may know and/or love into that category. This may not always be intentional, but it doesn't mean it isn't hurtful. I know myself pretty well and I know I have made mistakes but in no way do I spread hate. The definition of the noun hate is intense or passionate dislike. If you're going to say that Mormons...every single one of us...are spreading hate, then go ahead and prove that each of us individually has an intense or passionate dislike of the LGBTQ community. Or more specifically, the children in the LGBTQ community. Because I will tell you right now you won't find that with me. Sure you'll probably find some that do...but you'll find that every group or religious party will have people that do not behave according to the doctrine that is taught. Holding Mormons to a higher standard...expecting our members to be without fault...how is that fair? It's not. When this news was leaked on social media the leaders of the church responded. The leaders never said it was out of intense dislike for these kids. In fact, they stated it was out of protection. Whether you believe that or not is not the point. Just tell me something...when you judge this as hatred and spew it out as if it's a fact where are your facts? Where does your knowledge come from? What makes you call the leaders of my church "bigots" who did this out of hatred when they themselves are saying they did it out of protection? What makes you decide to choose hate and anger so quickly without at least trying to look at it from a different perspective? Where is YOUR love? Again, saying and believing these things is an individual choice and an individual right. But when you say hurtful and stereotypical things, you spread more "hate" and "discrimination". This makes you hypocritical. Oh, you're just standing up for what you believe in? Just fighting for what you believe is right? What if I tell you so am I? And everyone else who has supported and sustained our church leaders publicly. Have the same respect for others that you demand for yourselves. It IS possible and more noteworthy to stand up for your beliefs with kindness and understanding.
I've also heard and seen a lot of things saying that us Mormons were brain washed or manipulated into believing the things we do. Wow... give me a little more credit than that. How directly insulting that is to me. I apparently can't think for myself...make the right decisions by myself...or understand the difference between right and wrong. Look where that's gotten me. I have a loving husband and 2 beautiful children who I get to be with for eternity. I have loving parents who "brainwashed" me into being happier than I have ever been in my entire life as well as provided me with the 8 greatest siblings in the entire world. I have strong and dependable in-laws and extended family. I have great friends (not all LDS) that I love and can rely on for anything I will ever need. I have experienced hurt. I have experienced pain. I know what happiness is, and I have it. I'm not saying a person can't be happy without the gospel. I'm only saying that me being Mormon has played the largest part in my eternal happiness. So please, if you respect me, love me, or consider me a friend...be kind...be loving...give people the benefit of the doubt. Even if you hate me, do these things because I promise they will never fail you.
Even though I have made it obvious where I stand with this new policy, I struggle with it too. I am sad and my heart aches for the people who hurt. I understand where this hurt comes from. I did not write this post to persuade anyone to believe what I believe. I am only asking for people with either perspective to try to be kind and understanding. Do not spread more of the hate everyone is complaining about. I am a happy and dedicated Mormon. If that bothers you or offends you, by all means "unfriend" me or "unfollow" me.
